“It could be worse.” I said that to a friend the other day and then realized how much I actually hate it. Like, yeah, it COULD be worse, but it is what it is and what it is is pretty fucking bad for me right now.
For one, it’s not a very sympathetic response. It implies that whatever it is that person is going through isn’t as bad as someone else’s situation, which if that person is caring at all, they probably already realize and know that many have it worse than they do. Second, along those lines, it’s completely invalidating, because it implies that whatever it is isn’t as bad as it could be, so that person should just quit their whining.
I know that no one ever means that when they say something like “It could be worse.” Hell, I know that’s not what I meant when I said it to my friend. It’s always good to get perspective.
I read a book about a person with ALS and I said to my husband “well, at least I don’t have ALS.” Was it good to recognize that? Yes. Does it mean that my experience isn’t super hard in its own ways? No.
Just like cancer, every person’s experience is unique. I said to my mom once that “suffering is suffering is suffering” and I meant that. We can’t compare what feels hard for us with the hardships of others.
That doesn’t mean you can’t internally roll your eyes at what someone else calls “hard” (trust me, I do it all of the time), it just means that it will likely not make you feel better to recognize that there’s someone out there that has it worse.
Cause suffering is suffering is suffering.
"You never really know a person until you...climb into his skin and walk around in it." 